You’ve come a long way, my friend.

Last night I tried your dipping stick variety that are designed to scoop up the last bits of salsa from the jar. A ploy to attract those of us who are sitting on the floor of their dorm room, writing a research paper without research, and listening to “Believe” by Cher. My kind has no time for bowls. We are a people on the move.

LET THE REVOLUTION CONTINUE, TOSTITOS. I SUPPORT YOU.