December 2009
35 posts
Dec 17th
1 note
Dec 17th
6 notes
Dec 16th
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Dec 16th
Dec 15th
Dec 15th
Jon Basedow Fitness Professional
Over the summer I made a bookmarks tab entitled “EXERCISE.” Every time I look at it, I laugh instead of opening it.
Dec 15th
Dec 15th
Scabies: Pros/Cons
Pros: Hugging people you hate Lots of attention LEGAL ROIDS (excuse to get fat) Cons: Worst cock block ever Mites infesting your body NO ALCOHOL: FUCK YOU ROIDS
Dec 15th
2 notes
Dec 14th
Dec 14th
Dec 14th
1 note
Dec 13th
Dec 13th
27 notes
Dec 13th
Dec 13th
2 notes
WatchWatch
Someone gave me a concrete brick in secret santa (No. I’m not fucking kidding. A CONCRETE BRICK). Concrete Bricks are dangerous. So I put googly eyes on it. I like to know where we stand. It helps me to feel comfortable around my brick.
Dec 13th
Dec 12th
Dec 12th
3 notes
Listenfatmanatee: Jimmy Eat World - Last Christmas ...
Dec 12th
13 notes
“Decide that you like college life. In your dorm you meet many nice people. Some...”
– Lorrie Moore
Dec 11th
2 notes
Could be TMI?
I was acting out the “I’M POOPIN” cat meme for my friend in a secluded bathroom in the library today during a 13 hour study session and a girl from the “hot” sorority wearing ugg boots came in. “Oh hey super intimidatingly attractive peer! I was just pretending to be a cat on the internet who thinks he’s shitting. NBD.”
Dec 11th
3 notes
Dec 10th
Dec 10th
Dec 9th
3 notes
4 Legged Girl from Texas →
This was sent to me with the description… “I just don’t think I could marry a girl with 4 legs….” But she has 2 vaginas? Dealmaker.
Dec 9th
Dec 9th
8 notes
“I chased women and I chased money but nothing seemed to do then finally, I...”
– The Elected, For You (via seductiontheory) Well this makes me want to vomit my all-consuming loneliness.
Dec 8th
In most non-news contexts, due to my severe vision impairment, I read “Obama” as “Oprah.” For a split second, she is even more of an omnipotent force to me.
Dec 8th
Dec 7th
Dec 7th
sade: So many fine shirtless black men here…with zero interest in tiny white girls who have at one point in their life considered buying “Booty-Pop” panties. This reminds me of the time my friend tried to set me up with her black male friend. To describe me she said I “have an alright face, a flat ass, and short-ass hair.” It didn’t work out. But I did look at the Booty-Pop...
Dec 6th
19 notes
Dec 6th
1 note
Gmail will send snail-mail holiday postcards to... →
Well. I mean. That’s it’s real purpose. I think I’m going to use mine to send a friendly reminder to everyone that wronged me in middle school that they got fat and are going to live with their parents after graduation. Hope it was fun peaking at 16! <3 Me Thanks, google!
Dec 6th
“You’re either drunk or writing a paper. Which is it?”
– My friend who is in China right now knows there’s only 2 things to do in America at 3 am: Binge drink and obsess about psychological models. The answer was both, btw.
Dec 4th