A politically correct lol.

I feel better now,

Why am I laughing

Don’t laugh

This is bad and awful

You’re drunk.

EVERYTHING WAS BEAUTIFUL AND NOTHING HURT

itsalwayssunny:

(via crabcakes)

Number of people in this picture I wouldn’t sleep with? 0

I love Danny DeVito’s work, so duh.

UNF UNF UNF

Who do I have to blow to get some Ruby Tuesday’s salad bar up in my mouth right now?

sheldonthewonderschlong:

DO NOT CHASE ME, I AM FULL OF CHOCOLATE.

RE: MY LAST POST

Over the summer I made a bookmarks tab entitled “EXERCISE.”

Every time I look at it, I laugh instead of opening it.

I liked this movie, but it failed to capture the plight of uptight women like Sally everywhere:

every one of your male friends that you’re in love with is a homosexual.

Pros:

• Hugging people you hate
• Lots of attention
• LEGAL ROIDS (excuse to get fat)

Cons:

• Worst cock block ever
• Mites infesting your body
• NO ALCOHOL: FUCK YOU ROIDS

Oh fuck.

I have scabies.

Why didn’t Asher fucking Roth write about this in “I Love College”?

Man, I love infectious diseases that spread rapidly in dorms, ay!

And I love steroids, ay!

I love mites living under my skin while I take finals, ay!